Having problems with the upload page so i cant upload new stuff here until i dont know when. Eventually ill try a third browser . Check my other places if you want to see new stuff right now right now
Been drawing since around 2012. Was really inspired by MLP and wanted to express how it made me feel so i took to drawing. Eventually more sided towards Furry Art. I do commissions, and dont take requests.
Age 30, Male
Artist
England
Joined on 12/3/18
Posted by booponies - March 21st, 2022
Every now and then i find it useful to write things out in order to get my thoughts together and have a clearly vision of short to mid term things to deal with and handle. I recommend it to anyone feeling lost.
Have all of the sketch grab bags finished, ill be posting one more batch of 4 tomorrow, and then ill be opening commissions and post a new comm sheet, which is just visually updated, i dont think my prices should move yet. The benefit of *EVERY ONE* of the grab bag sketches being colours (thank yooooou) is it was focussed training on a specific part of work, and it made me realise that i really can do things faster without the quality being terribly impacted. Most of the time i get distracted, probably because the amount of work im expecting to be doing is overloading my brain, and most of the time im staring at the thing making sure i have everything done correctly and to do it as good as i know how to do. When i find myself in future with a lot of sketches that i think are good but i have some reason stopping me from wanting to work on them more, ill do another of these things again.
With the grab bag arc complete, and comms around the corner, i also have 10 personal projects to work on, as well as some sketches that still need posting.
Its currently March, which for me is birthday season, so many people to interact with which is somewhat stressful, then a big gap until mine at the end of April.
Something ive been trying to edge myself towards is to get some kind of part time job. Preferably something remote to do with writing, which is something ill probably always be looking for. Which makes me think, maybe i could look in to doing fanfic type things too. I tend to default myself often to typing because writing is something i enjoy too, so it would be a good setup to funnel into that avenue too if possible. Maybe ill write some short stories and post them around and see if theres any interest in my level of skill if i have any. Buuuuut digression. I have a difficult time with dealing with the real world with other people, which is why i have been trying to get in the right direction with overcoming that via getting a local part time job, and keeping with my current schedule of night shifting, trying to keep as familiar as possibile so the transition is easier to handle. For many people im sure this is feeble sounding, as many of you have jobs and would rather be doing different things. By my own standards i am a bad person, but i am trying to move in the direction to something better. We all move at out own pace, be patient, try to be calm, otherwise youll miss oppertunity being thrown in your face. I put in a job application recently, and was accepted for an interview, however i need proof of identity which i dont have, which means im going to try to get a passport sorted out, but this was more progress than i had before, and its relaxing to know i dont get an immediate phone call with an inflexible time to go to a place within days. And being honest i think its retarded that passports cost any amount of upfront money, like this is what i expect taxes to provide people a *PROOF OF THEIR EXISTENCE* but ok. Using the passport i can also do some investments which would be good. Either way, i am satisfied that i am making progress in multiple ways.
My current long term end goal is to have the money to help fix up the house so it can be sold, and we move back into town which will open up more opportunities, including moving out into my own place nearby so im not in my 30s and dependent on others, while still being able to do certain things that would be unmanageable from far away. In order to get to this point, i have a system, which believe me is the most important thing, learn how to create systems, and how to make habits.
As for short term day to day, summer is around the corner and you can be sure ill have themed YCHs for that. Maybe ill try an art pack with some friends again.
Posted by booponies - February 14th, 2022
probably the main site ill be on now
https://piczel.tv/watch/booparty
Posted by booponies - October 4th, 2021
Made a flesh pinch tutorial for socks on thighs n things over on Pillowfort if check out want you
Posted by booponies - February 2nd, 2021
context: Last few days have had 2 main stressers. having to meet someone, and also being asked if i 'need to be awake at night'. I dont like people, and night time is my choice and a boundary i have with how i want to live my life. These things really bother me, and when im stressed i bite my tongue. That sounds worse than it is. These things also come semi-out of nowhere and put a halt on certain plans i had because if theres a social obligation in future, i can barely think of anything else.
dream itself: coming into the house, hearing the cat my brother liked had died. he described holdng her paw and how cold it was. sounded light hearted about it. then apparently, even though i didnt, i said something really vague from a song ive never heard of, and it was in the form of a bunch of emojis and symbols ive never seen before, somehow texted to him telepathically, and its a song lyric line meant something in a sexual way, which he then picked up my current dog i love, and he carried him outside and locked him in a shed, while the dog looked back to me looking really scared, i didnt know where he was taking him, i didnt know why, i didnt even know he was angry at me, and i dont know why he chose to show me 'how it feels', until he put him in the shed, which i could see had a few peices of wood missing so i could easily get him out if the door was locked. He got angry at me for saying something mocking him and his pain, i asked a few times what he was angry about, what i said, because as far as i know i didnt say anything, and i was totally confused. i didnt say what he thought i said, i looked up like a telepathic DM history screen and apparently i did send what he said, a song lyric totally made up and represented by circle emojis and 7s, somehow he understood it and said it meant something sexual.
This is always been the case with him, i cant predict what he's going to flip out at. highly volitile, and i always fear im not expressing myself accurately enough to be properly understood with unintentional signals. One of the reasons i have social anxieties, because my interaction with people that are supposed to care for me is full of uncertainty and aggression in the past, so what would a random person do? and when around family, it feels like whatever i may reveal about myself i cant be sure they will be fine with it, so i must keep closed off. With anyone online i know they cant do anything to me so i dont give so much of a shit, i can keep groups separate.
Being awake at night lets me avoid these types of things. Im going to write down my list of boundaries and hopefully that makes it easier for me to enforce them.
Posted by booponies - September 10th, 2020
i had a Commission that i sent the Invoice out for on the 4th of March with this person https://twitter.com/IllusiveFan and on Discord his current name unless changed was 'erebusofdusk', and for the last 6 months he's given me multiple deadlines of when he would pay and didnt. At first i wasnt bothered, because Covid came around so i understood perfectly well, and im not in desperate need for money so it doesnt bother me, but after finally being told 'the 31st', then it passes, then on the 7th at roughly (1am GMT) told 'one more day', and now its the 10th at 9pm GMT and still nothing.
Fortunately i did not give the full image, just the low res sketch for approval, and part of the character's finished face. So as a warning to anyone else about this person, i dont want to give out their full email, but it contains 'bradford' in it, and i do not reccomend working with them
characters linked to me to use as reference are the 2 here. keep eye out for them. keep in mind its possible they arent actually theirs
Posted by booponies - August 10th, 2020
Im really sorry to post on this kind of topic but i have to. This is the Derpibooru admins. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EfFctv5WkAIpXUz?format=png&name=small
Im an artist, some of you are too, almost everyone that provides for Derpibooru is a SMALL BUSINESS, including THE SITE ITSELF. You remember our struggle? Our anxiety? how hard it was.. how hard it was to go every day wanting to be the next big thing, failing to reach it, getting frustrated to the point of literal tears, the constant thought in the back of your mind 'youll never get there, give up'? Thirsty in a desert but the next step got us closer to water. You remember how tough it was to make something almost entirely out of nothing but your own determination? longing for the day when youll be 'good enough' to not want to cut yourself over how useless you felt, and this was a collossal waste of time? Artists are small business'. 100% Self reliant, trying to make it, some of us have, some soon will, and we're so grateful for the support of our communities giving us strength to carry on in the worst times, not by calling us horrible people who didnt earn any of it. Even Derpibooru itself, what do you think youre this mega conglomerate? do you think youre up there with Apple and Marvel? You are a single digit operated fandom website, a popular one, but still nothing compared to Disney, or any TV show, you are a small business too. These 'horrible people' include you by definition, AND NOT ALL OF US ARE PSYCHOTIC SHITWADS LIKE YOU, SOME BORN INTO DERPI AFTER OTHER'S HARD WORK, AND CONTINUED HARD EFFORT FROM ARTISTS TO KEEP YOU FUCKING AFLOAT AND RELEVENT, SHIT DOWN YOUR OWN NECKS, FUCKING PROJECTING CUNTS
Hate me if you want for calling out those who admit to think we're scum, im not going to watch these actually privilaged people promoted not by their merits, but via better qualified higher ups leaving and now profiting from it, abuse us like we're a cancer.
Why should we support those who think the worst of us? or are we exceptions because we provide the means to keep the lights on so they dont have to go through our hardships? Textbook psychological abuse, hidden resentment until we're no longer useful then it all comes out. Vile.